Curveball: The Year I lost my Grip

        I have been reading Curveball, by Jordan Sonnenblick. The book is about Peter Friedman, an all-star pitcher on his junior varsity baseball team, who, at one life-changing game, throws out his arm while pitching, and is told he can never pitch again. The book takes place after the incident, where Peter is starting high school. He takes photography and meets a girl named Angelika. The two become photography partners, and have to work together. Peter is very traumatized by his injury, and even though he tries to forget it, and hide it from everyone, including Angelika, it has made him question who he is because he can't do the thing that has defined him most of his life. 

In the beginning of the story, Pete has a nightmare. In his nightmare he is playing baseball. "(the catcher) flashed me the sigh: his thumb and forefinger joined together to form a zero. I shouted out 'is that a one or a two?' He just threw down the same sign again, empathetically. Then I felt a searing pain and woke up screaming." This quote shows that the moment he injured his arm is still seared in his mind, and it's causing a lot of anxiety inside him. He feels inadequate. 

Later in the book, after talking to AJ, his friend, about baseball, Pete takes out his pitch back, glove and ball, and tries to throw. First he stands, holding the ball, with his legs trembling and butterflies in his stomach, feeling scared and paralyzed. Finally, he throws. "It went about 3 feet and plopped into the grass like a fat, dead pigeon. I sat down on the lawn and wept so hard I couldn't breathe. Then I picked up the ball, dropped it into the bucket, carried the whole shebang over to our garbage can, and dumped it." Pete is disappointed with his disability, and it hurts him to think about it. He hoped he could maybe throw again, and find his old self, but it feels all wrong.

Pete and Angelika are working together on their photography project. Pete is modeling for Angelika. He is holding a baseball. He turns it over in his hand and starts thinking about the details of that day, the glare of the cars parked in the parking lot, the heat, the sun blinding the players, the cut grass and the smell. Then, Pete is called back to reality when Angelika catches him crying. Pete doesn't want her to see him cry, because he likes her, but he doesn't think it she would like him back. As he explained to AJ, when AJ said 'Women love athletes," Pete explained that he doesn't see himself that way anymore, "Uh, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not an athlete anymore."

Pete is really traumatized by what happened that fateful day on the field. But now he's got to move on and find out who he is now, and how he wants to define himself in the future. As traumatic as that injury was, he will get over it and find a new identity.